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im_a_xfake

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Summer / Other Things. [20 May 2005|09:18pm]
[ mood | exanimate ]

This summer has been awsome so far.
I haven't really seen much of Jenny or Jordan.. but I relly hope that changes.
Wed. Niki, Laura and I rode down to redington beach.
It was amazing flying down that bridge. The water was beautiful.
We all just about died when we got there though.
Thursday we all hung out again but there wasnt that much activity.
We just hung out at my house and went to Joto's.
Last night I spent the night at Niki's and Billy came home and made us plans for today.
We had 11 or 12 loads of laundry to do and a room to clean.
But hey, we get paid for it!
688 tomorrow! WOOT!

So some things happened on Thursday night.
Alot of things are fucked up right now.
Jenny [friendly] kissed Jakub, and it upset me for a little while. But we talked about it.
Tim is upset with Jenny because something happened but Im not going to say here.
Jenny's upset because Tim is arguing with her when she can't do anything but say she' sorry.
Jenny - I really hope things get sorted out. Always know that I love you even though you do some dumb shit sometimes. I do dumb shit, you do dumb shit! We both win here!
Tim - Sorry about Jenny. I really hope you find a girl that will love you for who you are and everything your about. You have had some fucked up relationships. I hope that changes. Just remember every girl is diffrent. If you ever need to talk to someone I'm always here.

So thats just whats going on. Pictures & Updates, later.

2 Wish he knew..

Music Influence [13 May 2005|07:46pm]
[ mood | creative ]


Your Taste in Music:


90's Alternative: Highest Influence
Alternative Rock: Highest Influence
Adult Alternative: High Influence
90's Rock: Medium Influence
Classic Rock: Medium Influence
Country: Medium Influence
Punk: Medium Influence
R&B: Medium Influence
80's Alternative: Low Influence
90's Hip Hop: Low Influence
90's Pop: Low Influence
90's R&B: Low Influence
Dance: Low Influence
Hair Bands: Low Influence
Hip Hop: Low Influence
Progressive Rock: Low Influence
Ska: Low Influence

Wish he knew..

Crossfade Concert. [13 May 2005|03:45pm]
My mom says Niki can't go to the Crossfade concert.
She says she's already watching to many people.
I'm really upset.
Wish he knew..

Natural Highs [12 May 2005|09:18pm]
[ mood | good ]

Natural Highs
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.
12. Chocolate milkshake (or vanilla!) (or strawberry).
13. A long distance phone call.
14. A bubble bath.
15. Giggling.
16. A good conversation.
17. The beach.
18. Finding a $20 bill in your coat from last winter.
19. Laughing at yourself.
20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
21. Running through sprinklers.
22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
23. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
24. Laughing at an inside joke.
25. Friends.
26. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
30. Playing with a new puppy.
31. Having someone play with your hair.
32. Sweet dreams.
33. Hot chocolate.
34. Road trips with friends.
35. Swinging on swings.
36. Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies
and drinking your favorite hot toddy.
37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can
sing along without feeling stupid.
38. Going to a really good concert.
39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
40. Winning a really competitive game.
41. Making chocolate chip cookies.
42. Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
43. Spending time with close friends.
44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
45. Holding hands with someone you care about.
46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some
things (good or bad) never change.
47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
48. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a
much desired present from you.
49. Watching the sunrise.
50. Getting out of bed every morning and
being grateful for another beautiful day.

Wish he knew..

Concert [11 May 2005|04:49pm]
Well today couldn't have gone better.
I'm so over Tim and his shit.
I get to go to a concert w/ Jordan and my Dad.

<3 Mel
6 Wish he knew..

Expressing with Photography. [10 May 2005|09:35pm]
[ mood | creative ]

The Truth..[sometimes]

Something I painted when Jordan and I last broke up.
(Says "He stole my heart...")

My emotion.

Toy Machine!
(Original)

Add Color and a bit of contrast!

Someone who will always love me..
WISH BEAR!

3 Wish he knew..

Yep.. [10 May 2005|08:11pm]
[ mood | I'm missing something. ]

So..
I’m emotionally drained.
Tim said some pretty harsh stuff that I took really hard later on.
I got called a bitch once again.. what else is new. I’m starting to believe it now.
He said he didn’t like it when I had Niki call him. So I called him today to talk about why he was so upset with me at lunch today.
What else is new.. He hung up on me.
The only way I can get through to him is to see him in person.
Apparently I wasted a lot of pedals to go down there, because he is :tired of me:
He told me that he was always the one to get screwed over. He said he hated it.
Who got screwed over this time?
He tells me he loves me. Leads me on.. And then says that he can’t take all this shit anymore and walks away.
Oh well.
I give up.

Pretty Girl
Poem/Song
Please Read.

Pretty girl is suffering,
while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out
what his intentions were about
And that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him outta your head
And that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him outta your head
Its the way that he makes you feel
its the way that he kisses you
its the way that he makes you fall in love
She's beautiful as usual
with bruises on her ego and
her killer instinct tells her to
be aware of evil men
And that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him outta your head
And that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him outta your head
its the way that he makes you cry
its the way that he's in your mind
its the way that he makes you fall in love
Its the way that he makes you feel
its the way that he kisses you
its the way that he makes you fall in love

Old LiveJournals. [09 May 2005|04:49pm]

When your bored.. You can always look at the old good and bad times.
These are in order from really old.. to the one I just had.

xxdreamer13xx
throwback1326
walkin_away
poison_girlx

<3

Wish he knew..

I fell. [09 May 2005|04:23pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

Yeah..
I fell.
Theres only a few people that helped me up.
Im scared for my future.
So many times I've been broken.

Wish he knew..

This is my expression. [08 May 2005|09:15pm]
[ mood | creative ]

4 Wish he knew..

Crossfade Rocks All The Time! [08 May 2005|09:02pm]
[ mood | Leave me the fuck alone ]

Nothing never goes the way it should
No more sitting in this place
Hoping you might see it my way
Cause I don't think you ever understood
</3

Wish he knew..

I'm going to prove I'm not lieing to you. [07 May 2005|09:33pm]
[ mood | creative ]

Why?
Because:
I can be myself when I am with you.
Because you make me feel like I have never felt before.
Thinking of you, fills me with a heartwarming feeling.
You never give up on me, and that's what keeps me going.
You are simply irresistible.
You bring the best out of me.
Everytime I look at you, I swear my heart misses a beat.
You always say what I need to hear.
You are my theme for a dream.
How you always find a new way to surprise me.
How you always look deep into my eyes.
How you can make my heart melt with your soft lips.
The way you stare at me as if I am the most beautiful girl in the world.
The smile you give after I'm done kissing you.
How your not afraid to tell me your feelings.
How you will still play tag because you don't want to be the last one it.
How you make me chase you down even though I could never catch you.
How I can never hate you.
You make me happy.
You respect my parents and you get along with my brother.
There are so many reasons. Not even one simple LiveJournal entry could explain how I feel about you, Tim.

2 Wish he knew..

Pictures [07 May 2005|08:25pm]
[ mood | upset ]

Thought: I just want him to talk to me.
PicturesCollapse )

6 Wish he knew..

Quizes [06 May 2005|11:09pm]
Take the quiz: "What type of kisser are you?"

Romantic kisser
This kind of kisser will be a good husband or wife.

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...delicious
Your hugs are...friendly
Your eyes...light up a day
Your touch is...heart warming
Your smell is...refreshing
Your smile is...hypnotising
Your love is...everlasting
Quiz created with MemeGen!
Wish he knew..

Ugh.. Im so confused. [06 May 2005|10:35pm]
[ mood | drained ]

I don't know whats wrong with Tim sometimes.
We're playing around one minute.. the next he gets all mad even though I'm just kidding around.
He really knows how to put me down sometimes.
Saying my breath smells!? What the fuck. I mouthwashed it while I was on my bike on the way there! Then he says it smells? I don't know what he wants it to smell like, Im sorry.
I really need to talk to him.. but I dont want him to get mad and storm off like times in the past.
I tried to call him. Not there.

I went to 688.
Jordan gave me a cute card.
He always gives the best cards. He said he takes forever to find the perfect ones.
Then he got me a HIM ring. Its awsome. It came in a coffin box.
It says "Your my heaven in life and death"
The best part is though that there was a bigger one for him. So now we have mathing rings. It was so adorable.
Thanks Jordan I love it.

<3

Wish he knew..

Weekend/Tim/Haircut [03 May 2005|08:54pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

This weekend was fun.
I think ::if I remember correctly::
Niki and I went to Sem. Rec. to see Brads game.
We hung out there with Ashlee and Melanie.
It was funny.
We went in this room and fucked with everything on the white boards and stuff.
Sunday I invited Tim over and forgot to mention that my grandparents and aunt were comming over for my family Bday party.
I really wanted to see him and I knew if I told him that they were gonna be there he wouldn't have come.
I think he was scared. lol
Ill get it later though.

I dont know whats going on with Tim and I.
Everyone keeps asking if were going out.
I say no.
But we act like we are.

I got my haircut today.
Woot.
No more split ends.
Pics later.

<3

Wish he knew..

Love [03 May 2005|08:41pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

Love
Don't try to predict it-
There's no one who can-
For love never happens
According to plan.

It may happen quickly,
Like "love at first sight"
Or slowly through sharing-
But either way's right.

For what really matters
Is that you love
For love.

Wish he knew..

Quiz [30 Apr 2005|09:26am]
[ mood | drained ]

You scored as Punk/Rebel.

</td>

Punk/Rebel

88%

Loner

75%

Stoner

69%

Goth

69%

Ghetto gangsta

50%

Drama nerd

38%

Geek

25%

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

0%

What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com


Wow.. I have no idea how this happened. lol but I love the hair! <3
Wish he knew..

[28 Apr 2005|09:26pm]
everytime I'm with him
I fall even harder.
1 Wish he knew..

Promotion! [28 Apr 2005|09:08pm]
Come Join _cutiez941_
Wish he knew..

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